Free Write #2 — Gratitude
If you’re familiar with my writing, by now you know the disclaimer — these are my thoughts based on experience and observation. If you want to share yours with me, I’m @jkavja on Twitter — guaranteed responses Mon-Fri 9 a.m. — 2 p.m. (except on public holidays)
When was the last time you were truly grateful? As in taking a moment to realize that (for most of us), the life that you’re living now is the life you would have wished, hoped and prayed for at some time in the past?
I’ve realized that so many of us get caught up in planning, making, doing and achieving that we never take the time out to just … give thanks.
I’ve decided to challenge that, and if you’re willing to spare a couple of minutes I think you may want to also.
Gratitude — defined
We talk a lot about it, but what is gratitude? If you’re someone who goes for dictionary definitions, it’s “a feeling of appreciation and thanks”
For me, personally, it’s the practised state of being in a thankful place. The practice is essential because gratitude, as much as some people may want to pretend otherwise, is not necessarily something that comes naturally.
Question: How would you define gratitude?
The life-altering power of gratitude
As I mentioned above — it’s very easy to get caught up in making, creating, doing, living day-to-day. One of the traps that you may fall into is constantly being future-oriented and never truly living in the present or acknowledging what is directly in front of you. Actively practising gratitude not only brings you back to the present but also gives you a chance to assess your own journey.
Not only that, but gratitude physically changes the brain — deciding to be grateful changes the lens through which you view life. The metaphor I used recently is that your mind is like a magnifying glass. It will zoom in on whatever you point it at. If you view life by what you lack, then all you see will be what you don’t have. If you view life through a lens of gratitude, you’ll see that you already possess a lot.
Question: Do you find yourself future-focused? Or are you able to be present?
Gratitude has changed my life
Every post I write (as stated in the disclaimer), is based on either experience or observation.
I used to be a very deliberately pessimistic person, for the simple reason that having faced multiple disappointments, I was tired of getting my hopes up then having those hopes squashed. I also grew up not having a lot, so being successful, whether academic or career was the ultimate goal for me.
Combine the two and I was essentially someone who would work hard, achieve and never be satisfied because it was never enough.
It took my therapist pointing out the fact that everything I was running from was far in my past, and the fact that as an adult I can decide the type of life that I wanted to live, for me to realize that I really had come far. The soul-searching that came from that led me to start practising gratitude because I’d never really have imagined I’d actually have things to give thanks for.
A basic gratitude “how to”
Being grateful and existing in a grateful space doesn’t come naturally or easily for many of us for a number of reasons, but never fear, help is here.
- A simple start is sitting down and listing to yourself the things that are currently going well in your life, then giving thanks that they are.
- Level up your simple start by making it a physical (or digital) list. You can look back at this list whenever you find yourself feeling less than grateful.
- Another level up is to try to adopt a daily gratitude practice — whether it be journaling or just giving thanks as soon as you wake up.
- Before long, you’ll notice that it’s easier to give thanks and note the things that are going well in your life — you may even get to the point that you give thanks for the lessons from the things that don’t go so well.
What has worked for me is to start with the basics.
- Gratitude for life and breath, because without either I wouldn’t be here
- Giving thanks for currently having my faculties intact and being able to learn and experience the world.
- Giving thanks for things like clean water, fresh(ish) air
- Giving thanks for having food and a roof over my head — and that’s all before I get into the “complex” things.
Question: What would your gratitude list look like?
Las’ Lick — Comparison
I’ve found that for many people, gratitude ends up being rooted in doing well compared to other people — so it becomes “I give thanks because I have this thing that other people may not.” My challenge to you is to instead compare your life now to where you were.
Instead of giving thanks you have something someone doesn’t, look at where you were a year, two years, or even five years ago. You’ll realize that you have (for the majority of us) come a long way.
More time and Happy Holidays,
J.
